2021 has been a grand year for those who would like to go down memory lane while driving in their cars and listening to the radio. Thanks to Olivia Rodrigo, drivers can go back and think about their youth with nostalgia while commuting to their regular routine for work or school. Her music touches many generation with her lyrics and vocals.

Driver's License is an important song but Traitor is really meaningful to me as I resonate with that song so much.

Over ten years ago, I went through the biggest break up of my life. When my boyfriend at the time and I broke up, I had an inkling for the few weeks before that he had met someone. However, I ignored that feeling and didn't try to pry because I didn't want to cause any unnecessary drama in the event that I was wrong. On the day that he broke up with me, he had asked me to come over that very day to talk to me about something very important. Originally, I told him that I couldn't that very minute and he said that if I didn't come over, then he didn't think we'd ever see each other again.

I thought maybe he had missed me and needed me to give him attention that very minute in person. When I arrived and saw his face, I realized he didn't want me to come immediately because he missed me but because he wanted to break up with me in person. We sat down in his bedroom and he said he didn't think we'll work out. I flat out asked him, "Did you meet someone?"

He denied it and I was not convinced but calmly told him that when you meet someone new, it may be exciting but it'll be the same cycle over again. You'll find someone better later down the line and maybe have regret and so breaks up with the next person.

The most important thing for a great relationship to work is to have loyalty. If you can't be loyal, it'll never work out. I learned a lot about myself at that very moment. I knew that I treasure loyalty above all in a relationship, even if I felt that I "loved" the person. Without loyalty, I would still be miserable with the person I love.

After I said my same cycle bit, he almost wanted to retract what he said. He said "maybe I'm making the biggest decision of my life" but at that point, I felt so betrayed that I could not stay in that room anymore. I don't want a relationship that's full of doubt and betrayal so I stood up and said, "It's too late. You can't just throw me away and pick me up like trash" and I walked out of there as fast as I could. He ran after me crying in the living room. Before I closed the front door, I said to him "Whatever you're looking for, I hope you find it because it's obviously not me."

I don't remember if I had ever been more hurt in my life. I cried all the way down to my car, but I also knew he felt a bit of this hurt too. I was surprised that we broke up that day but I was even more surprised that he broke up with me with such remorse.

The end of that relationship broke me for 2 more years afterwards. I was in and out of two casual relationships for the next couple of years and then I finally worked enough on my self-care, like going to the gym and eating healthier, that I finally got over it and eventually found the love of my life who shares the same important morals as me. The love of my life proposed to me and eventually we got married with kids. Yes, he is the Sailor who made me his girlfriend and now I'm his wife.

I had forgotten about my heartbreak that happened over a decade ago and how that deep hurt felt like until I heard Olivia Rodrigo's Traitor song and it took me back. It kind of helped me give clarity while hearing it because I was never sure if he had cheated on me but I was absolutely sure that he betrayed me. However, I had never labeled his wrong-doing so clearly before with one word. He was a traitor.